Psychedelic Therapy 6

My ayahuasca dosage tastes more bitter this time around compared to yesterday’s ceremony. The aftertaste makes me instantly nauseous. The darkness inside the maloca—other than one large lit candle on top of the altar containing spiritual items, such as the Chakana/Inca cross stone statue, a bouquet of flowers, thick crystals, and other items in the center—means it’s time for lift-off.

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The bouquet of red, white, and green flowers begins to breathe, forming a plump and squishy geometric shape. A small wolf head slowly emerges on the right side of the bouquet of flowers. The three flower colors camouflage the wolf’s head.

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The spiritual items on the altar in the center of the round maloca float above the ground and transform into bright ruby-style geometrics. A road forms on the ground from the altar to the edge of my twin-sized mattress. I’m in the driver’s seat, with playful rainbow-colored geometric spiritual items floating toward me. They move side to side as if dancing to a beat in this geometric land of ruby-looking spiritual items. I’m blown away by the remarkable dimension.

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The dimension disappears, and I’m back inside the temple. My body temperature varies between feeling hot and cold, forcing me to remove the blankets from my body and head and then put them back on.

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I have trouble breathing calmly, causing me to feel like I’m going to lose my mind.

 

I put a blanket over my head and say, “God, please help me control myself, please.”

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I regain composure. Luz, the psychologist, asks if I want another dose of ayahuasca, but I decline. I’m feeling the strong effects of the medicine. I’m skeptical about whether to take a swig of water from my water bottle or hold off, hoping the nausea simmers and dissolves. I don’t want to throw up again like in the first ceremony.

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I close my eyes and see a bright four-piece pie shape flashing yellow and green colors.

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My eyes open, and without thinking, I grab the bucket beside me to vomit. This purge is stronger than last night’s ceremony.

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After four to five rounds of continuously throwing up with a bucket sitting on my lap, I feel a sense of relief and physically lighter.

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The Shipibo healers sing icaros according to the group synergy and each individual’s aura. The two women shamans also consumed a dosage of ayahuasca with the ceremony participants and me. When the master ayahuasca ceremony shamans it a few feet away in front of each person, they scan our vibrational frequency to determine which icaros to sing, based on the message they receive from Mother Ayahuasca and the universe.

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There’s no vomiting, crying, or moaning happening inside the maloca at the moment. The two Shipibo healers sit on the floor on opposite sides of the round room in front of a participant, individually, and sing an icaro. Their shamanic chants in Panoan are boosting my spirit.

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One of the Shipibo healers sits in front of me with her legs crossed, three feet away from the edge of my mattress. She appears to be a faceless black shadow. I lean forward toward her, sitting on my knees. I begin moving my hands as if I’m receiving messages from another dimension. I’m interacting with the master ayahuasca ceremony shaman by moving my hands and arms back and forth between my body and hers.

 

Her singing and my fluid psychedelic hand motions and arm movements intensify. I respectfully bow to her, placing my forehead in front of the end of the mattress, nonverbally telling the Shipibo healer that she’s an ayahuasca healing goddess and asking her to help me.

 

“I surrender,” I say, as my arms extend past the end of the mattress toward the Shipibo healer. I hope to feel her gentle touch radiate healing energy through my mind, body, and soul.

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“I surrender,” I repeat while my ego slowly chips away into the cosmos.

 

I return to a seated position on my knees. My head, arms, and upper body move as if they are from higher planes of existence to the icaro chanting. The sharp-tone vocals from the Shipibo healers activate my body to move somewhat animalistically as I sit on my knees.

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“Incredible,” I whisper in Spanish to the master ayahuasca ceremony shaman.

 

I put my hands in a prayer position on my head and bow to the Shipibo healer. Looking up at the maloca's ceiling, there’s a small oval-shaped window designed like a psychedelic eyeball.

 

“Thank you, God,” I say gracefully.

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I repeat, “Thank you, God,” three more times while looking at the sky through the small eyeball-looking window in the center of the ceiling.

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The second Shipibo healer sits three feet away from the edge of my mattress. I move to the front edge of my mattress, sitting on my knees again. Her charming icaro singing makes me smile and dance cheerfully. My body and head move from side to side while I sit on my knees with my eyes closed. The second master ayahuasca ceremony shaman put a magic spell on me, enabling me to move my upper body fluidly and animal-like, unable to control and stop my physical movements.

 

I whistle to connect with her sacred healing shamanic chants. My arms and hand motions move forward to her body and back to mine, telling the Shipibo healer that I’m intensely feeding off of her psyche and beautiful icaro singing.

 

The master ayahuasca ceremony shaman stops singing to me. She was with me for a long time. I show thanks by having my hands in a prayer position on my chest, bowing to her, and putting my head on the edge of my mattress.

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The Shipibo healers do a few more rounds of icaros chanting. I'm smiling because I felt compelling spiritual connections with the two women as they sang icaros to me.

 

The maloca vibe is silent as if everyone is in a rest or sleep mood. I stare into the sky through the psychedelic-looking eyeball window in the middle of the ceiling.

 

The singing from the two master ayahuasca ceremony shamans wasn’t good; it was outstanding. An audio or video recording can’t compete with the in-person quality of their vocals. The unique chanting from the Shipibo healers must be experienced firsthand to feel the spiritual vibration...............